| In my practice and courses, I often see some clients with very high anxiety levels.Almost without exception, they think it is good to examine in minute detail, what is fearful about a certain situation, what is the worst that could happen, or to reflect on every fault and failing they have and talk to themselves in a negative critical voice. They tell me this running commentary is automatic. It happens outside of their conscious control. They have basically created an internalised monster that is devouring their energy. They have fed this monster continually and is has become so big and powerful, that they find themselves powerless to turn it off. The question for me was: how can I help them get that monster under control? Research shows that Mindfulness of course has been shown to reduce overthinking, to reduce depression and anxiety, and to increase wellbeing. (1) But what happens if a person is so agitated that they can’t be present for even a short time? In fact, when they try to meditate, they find their mind gets even busier? Misidentification Over the years, I have learned that my highly anxious clients are suffering from a version of misidentification, of identity theft, if you like. They identify this voice in their head as an all-knowing part of themselves, as a wise advisor, as a friend, as something helpful It may indeed have been helpful at some point in the past, and our capacity as human beings for self-reflection is what helps us to learn from our mistakes. But in the anxious person, it has got out of hand, it is robbing them of their happiness and vitality. So I ask my clients to consider that that voice, far from being wise, is actually incredibly misleading and counter-productive. It literally has three or four themes that it runs on a continuous loop. It is like a gun that is continually firing blanks. But those blanks cause damage. When we run these thoughts through the brain, stress chemicals are produced, and these in turn flood the body with feelings of unease, fear, anxiety, depression. We are pushed into fight or flight mode, where our primitive survival brain takes over, and the more advanced pre-frontal cortex, where logic, perspective, and our capacity for creative solutions occur, closes down. So not only are we less happy, we are also decreasing our potential to come up with solutions and to perform well in the situation. So our first step is to identify that voice for what it is: a whining, repetitive voice that continually shoots blanks that don’t help to accomplish any of our goals. So instead of listening to it as if it were a wise advisor, start telling it to “shut up, you whiney old bore”. I have found that identifying this voice as an enemy rather than a friend, causes a shift that empowers and motivates clients to take the next steps to break the loop. There are so many ways of doing this, derived from mindfulness and solid psychological research, and that is part of what I cover in my courses and one to one work. The holistic perspective As well as this re-frame, I also offer my clients the holistic perspective. The foundation of yoga and holistic philosophy is that we have a spirit, and a life force, an energy that comes from that spirit. This is our true identity. All the repetitive thinking, all those deep layers of thought, suppress that spirit, so that it is very difficult to hear its voice. Those layers of thought are like a heavy blanket placed over a fire – it extinguishes the flame. They rob you of your true identity. Those repetitive thoughts are not the real you. There is another self inside that is totally joyful, in tune with life, very intelligent and creative. But it needs space, it needs the right mental environment to emerge. It needs, what Carl Rogers, the founder of humanistic psychology has called, a climate of unconditional positive regard (including from yourself) a suspension of judgement. You need to start providing the right mental climate for that real side of yourself to emerge. You need to start being, and doing without the running commentary, without the judgment. The more you let go of that negative voice, the more self expression you have, you find your true identity, you discover there is a more creative, joyful side to you. Living mindfully, letting yourself just be, learning to be more truly present in any situation, lessens the voice of that false self. You already have moments of experiencing this joy and freedom in situations where you are totally absorbed. Even the most anxious clients, are able to give me examples of these “flow” moments, when the running commentary ceased and they were truly there. So, you are already able to meditate, we just have to broaden out the scope of it. So, in my classes and individual coaching, I offer a holistic approach: – start by recognising that you have a joyful, loving creative core (“the spirit”) that is independent of the repetitive, programmed thinking (“the noise”) – reduce down the noise so that the spirit can emerge more strongly. This is why I think of my Take The Steps courses as being Mindfulness PLUS – plus the spirit. References https://positivepsychology.ie/its-official-research-shows-overthinking-causes-depression-and-that-mindfulness-lessens-overthinking/ Professor Kinderman at Liverpool University who led a study which involved almost 40,000 people in 172 countries concluded “that people who didn’t ruminate or blame themselves, had much lower levels of depression and anxiety, even if they had experienced many negative events in their lives.” For an amusing, but helpful way of looking at the situation: https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/TheParrot.pdf ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— NEXT TAKE THE STEPS Five Week Course Meditation, positive psychology, CBT, connecting with your authentic self, flowing energy, increasing resilience, happiness and wellbeing. IN PERSON starts Howth Road, Thursday 26th September. Runs for 5 Thursdays 7.30 to 9pm. Fee €150. ZOOM course starts Wed 25th September. Runs for 5 Wednesdays 8pm to 9.30pm. Fee €150. If you have been a private client, or have done the course before, and are doing it as a refresher, the fee is discounted to €120. To enrol, visit https://positivepsychology.ie/mindfulness-wellbeing-course/ One to One Sessions Available by appointment, in person or on Zoom. https://positivepsychology.ie/product/one-to-one-mindfulness-holistic-psychotherapy-positive-psychology-coaching/ Fee €290 (prepaid) for 4 hourly sessions, usually spread over 4 to 8 weeks. Email fordemargaret@gmail.com or phone 01 8339902 for appointment. ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————– |
